Monday, June 22, 2015

Leaving Hosmer Hanging Chad?



Danville, Kentucky- The first election of the last millennium of my life was nearly stolen. Governor Bush won Florida fair and square, but Albert Gore couldn't handle that America believes in democracy. Gore gathered up his lawyers and tried to discredit the votes of Florida. Luckily, somehow or another it got settled. Bush ended up President.

Sadly, a far more important election than a contest between two Southern Ivy league alums is being ruined by the tactics that we stopped in Florida. This weekend, Bob Bowman, President of Bussiness and Management for Major League Baseball said, "it’s between 60 and 65 million votes that have been canceled."

Folks, why did baseball announce 60 million votes were cancelled? It's simple: Major League Baseball hates the Royals. The Royals are built on old-school baseball: advancing the runner, hitting in the clutch, and winning. Eric Hosmer earned more votes than Cabrera. The voters decided the most important trait in an all-star voting was experience in the most recent World Series, not who has a higher BABIP against left handed pitchers on day games following night games, or WAR.

The All-Star game matters. Home-field advantage is on the line. Some nerds bring up that the Royals lost game 7 at home the previous season. Once again, the nerds are like a painter that wants to show you his paintings. The issue with that is that paintings are boring and useless. Instead, we should care about things that actually matter like the Royals being on the road the two previous series. The Royals spent so much energy thinking about that additional road game they could have hypothetically played that they were spent once game 7 came. If the Royals were fresher facing Madison Bumgarner- with the momentum from winning so many road games- they would likely be World Champions.

Some nerds counter that the all-star game isn't actually democracy. These folks say: One man, one vote. First, the radical feminists probably will chew you up for saying "man," so I'll see the few nerds that make it on the other side. Second, that's not how democracy works in America. See, Al Gore claimed he won the popular vote. But folks, that's not how democracy works. America is the world's best democracy. America doesn't rely on one person one vote, we rely on an electoral college where someone can get fewer votes and actually win, like when Governor Bush was the choice of most of what we choose to have choose in America.

Additionally, America is based on the idea of doing whatever it takes to win. Johny Kennedy didn't actually win the 1960 election according to this guy, but Kennedy was willing to register dead people and Democrats to win. A majority of my wives wanted me to pay child support, but I fought the system and continue to fight the injustice of that system every month of my life. Similarly, all-star voters that take advantage of the system should be celebrated, not seen as criminals. Once a game is set up, it's about winning, not trying to re-invent a losing formula every year, Billy Beane.

I also need to be honest that Hosmer isn't even my choice for the all-star game. I believe in the Triple Crown. Hell, if I could, I'd vote American Pharaoh into the damn game. Alas, I can't. However, I can vote for a triple crown winner. Yet, I am but one man with a few e-mail addresses and therefore, hundreds of votes.

I understand where MLB is coming from. It's tough to admit when you played your hardest and the other team wisely moved the runner or came through in the clutch. Yet, to a man that's not in the game, he recognizes when one side has lost. Eric Hosmer hasn't lost anything. His voters have found a way to win, and I hope Major League Baseball finds a way to remember their allegiance is to democracy, not nerds deciding at the last second what they want the all-star game to be. If those nerds truly care about the game, their vote counts the same as the rest of us, sort of.