Wednesday, January 27, 2016

Ban Rick Snyder

Not even BB8 can save Flint now.
Danville, Kentucky -- Flint, Michigan is an all-American town. A town I've written about before. I told you about Flint's Thanksgiving traditions. Flint's unique fauna. Flint's industrial culture. And most importantly, Flint's love for the game of baseball. A town where working-class folks powered the country, literally and figuratively. A town where hard-working men like my uncle assembled the AC spark plugs that power our cars. A town whose blue-collar work ethic silently underwrote the economic strength of our nation. A town that invented the sit-down strike.

A town that's been failed. Failed by nerds at both the state and federal level.

The state of Michigan has long suffered from a leadership vacuum. The best governor in recent memory was John Engler. Engler was a man of the people. The type of man who'd order the Carolina Chicken Salad at Ruby Tuesday's, but still have the courage to order a chicken tender appetizer afterwards.

Engler, pondering dessert options.
the people's salad.
Michigan has been in sore need of leadership like that. Yet, Engler is an aberration. Instead, the state has been cursed by ineffectual leaders like George Romney, father of the man who couldn't beat Obama. George Romney was the Ted Cruz of his time; a man born under mysterious circumstances in Mexico, with aspirations to govern Americans despite his un-American heritage.

Folks, I was overjoyed for my family members in Flint when the reign of Supreme Leader Granholm met its end in 2011. Yet, Rick Snyder was not the man Flint needed. Rick Snyder, the self-proclaimed "One Tough Nerd," spent too much time with the professors in Ann Arbor and not enough time with the AC spark plug assembly-men in Flint. Rick Snyder made a deal with the devil. He bought into Obama's coercion. In exchange for federal highway funding handouts, he let the tentacles of the Employment Prevention Agency suffocate the good people of Flint.

I blame Rick Snyder for the lead poisoning crisis we see today. But not because he was negligent or corrupt like liberals and Hillary Clinton say. Because he allowed federal overreach on his watch. The federal government has no business interfering in local matters. Environmental problems are best addressed by officials who understand the nuances of the local ecological conditions. Especially when those officials are un-democratically appointed feudal overlords. Mr. Snyder, why appoint an emergency manager when you're going to let Obama and the EPA be the emergency micro-manager anyway?

Something is rotten in the state of Michigan. Maybe it's the lead; maybe it's the outlandishly large unemployment rate. I knew there had to be something in the water when my Uncle Bert and his family became Bernie Sanders supporters in the fall of 2015. I can see why Bernie's crude populism would be appealing to my Uncle Bert on a superficial level. Sanders, like a broken old union punch clock, manages to be right once and a while. Bernie knows the devastation that NAFTA wrought upon the people of Flint. Yet, socialism is not the solution to the crisis in Flint; the EPA's grotesque failure shows that much.

The solution is clear: Ban Rick Snyder. Sign Flint native and communist Michael Moore's petition to have him arrested. Folks, let's save time and just arrest them both. The trials of man are fought everyday throughout this country as good men are given the constitutional right to face a jury of their peers. Rick Snyder's peers are in the process of dying. It's time to kill Snyder's run in the hallowed grounds of Lansing before he starts emailing on the job like Hillary Clinton.