Bench Steph Curry

Danville, Kentucky - They told me I was about to have a slice of pizza that would change my life. I know that was possible. I remember the first time I had a pan pizza from Pizza Hut. The overwhelming crust paired with the  perfect pepperoni to change my belief that hope was not lost. It secured my unending belief that the best pizza in New York could not compare to the pizza one could find in literally any kind of mid-size town in America.

Papa Murphy's is a prelude to the fall of the West. I went to the Papa Murphy's and ordered a pepperoni pizza. A young jokster behind the register handed me a frozen pizza. Wholesome humor was alive in America, I thought. This restaurant could be even better than the Hut. Not since my support of Hubert Humphrey in 1968 was I so wrong.

Papa Murphy's does not cook their pizza. They hand you a slab of frozen pizza and expect you to go home and cook it. I felt embarrassed. Was I the only person without a pizza oven in America? Why was this location charging me the same price for a non-cooked pizza as any other pizza locale would to actually cook the pizza and pay for the cost of an oven? Would my children think me a fool for using so many rhetorical questions in a row? All evils created by Papa Murphy's. I left in anger. Hopeful for the respite of Chick Fil A, I quickly realized it was Sunday. Another night at the Chili's it was. Another night of great food guaranteed.

The 2016 Warriors are a lot like Papa Murphy's. They suck. Sure, the skeptics would say, "Will, have you had a few too many rounds of Chilis' delicious queso and tequila?" Yes, but that has nothing to with reason and everything to do with proper taste. Proper taste tells me the Warriors are not doing well. They've lost home games to the Celtics and have even lost to a Rockets team whose desperate prayers to end the season are met with a laugh from a God who has long ago forsaken them.

James Harden once again getting wrecked by the Based God

The Warriors have a choice to make: continue down the path of defeat or make the change they need. It's time to bench Steph Curry. Steph is a good man. He plays hard and is twice the father with a fourth the marriages I am.

— Andre Iguodala (@andre) September 22, 2014

[Andre Iguodala quoting noted conservative scholar Thomas Sowell]

Steph is too focused on winning the MVP award and getting his own shot. Other than his scores of assists a game and gaudy plus/minus numbers, he does little for his own teammates. Just look at game 4. They won without Steph. The Warriors shot what seems unsustainable against the Rockets, but the post-American era of World War II once seemed unsustainable in the face of defeat after defeat from the forces of Marxists. Yet, the hope was not lost. The fight was not over. America went on to win the Cold War because it focused on being the best America it could be. The Warriors need to focus on being the best Warriors they can be.

Steph has also politicized the Warriors. Mr. Curry now appears in ads with the Obama White House. The same White House that passed Obamacare. When conservatives like Andre Iguodala take the Court, they need a non-partisan leader. I mean, who has any clue what Shaun Livingston thinks about NAFTA? I do. I know a veteran blue collar player like Livingston understands we're losing jobs because of NAFTA. Livingston is the man to lead Golden State and right the lost chemistry of a once proud team. 

The path of the present does not lock us into the future of failure. The Warriors and America can do better. Honestly, if America would just stop eating at Papa Murphy's, I wouldn't give a damn if Steph Curry played or not. But since this country will continue to eat at Papa Murphy's, let's just hope the Warriors play a veteran.