|Bush holds up fingers signifying how many candidates were better than him in 1980|
To know Iowa, you have to know it's process. The snobs say Iowa is a backwards people in a backwards place using a backwards election process. I'm not allowed to teach driver's education in Kentucky after burning a car in protest of the 1994 MLB strike, but I believe 3 backwards equals a forwards. And that's what the caucuses are: a forward process to the nomination.
|Jeb Bush asking God to strike him from the race|
|Des Moines wisely didn't waste their budget on art like some cities did|
The caucus is a voting process. To vote in a caucus requires someone actually casts a vote. Marco Rubio doesn't actually cast votes in the Senate. He's too busy not voting. When the voters at the caucus think about how they are voting, they'll remember Marco doesn't vote. He has no chance.
|Marco Rubio pictured in his natural habitat: not voting|
Ted Cruz is a Canadian. No non-American has ever finished in the top 5 of the caucuses. I don't see the voters of a state like Iowa ignoring this. We've been all over Ted Cruz being a Canadian before others. Luckily, Iowa will realize before it's too late they need to vote for an American.
|Ted Cruz views on America|
John Kasich voted for NAFTA. Those five words will drown him in Iowa. Kasich's a sly one though. His hand motions may just let him swim in New Hampshire if the voters aren't careful.
Ben Carson is a great man. I just can't vote see the voters of Iowa supporting someone that taught at John's Hopkins. For those not familiar- the non-Iowan's of the world- John's Hopkins is a school where the liberal eggheads develop their foreign policy. Dr. Carson never criticized the foreign policy of his own school. Iowa demands a President that criticizes those in the wrong. Carson stood silent. Enough voters will stand silent for him on February 1st.
Carly Fiorina foolishly rooted for Iowa in the Rose Bowl. The problem with that was not the pandering pundits decried. Everyone loves someone willing to sell out everything they believe in for the hope of winning a handful of votes in a state with less than 1/50th of the delegates needed to be the nominee. The problem was that Carly's tweet reminded everyone she went to Stanford. Iowans don't leave and go to Coastal schools. They stay home and go to an Iowa school. See ya later, Fiorina.
|This organization has too many letters for an acronym|
The people of Iowa love the Constitution. They demand the right to shout offensive things at Hawkeye basketball games, and they love the freedom to be free from having to house troops protected by the 3rd Amendment. It's too bad Chris Christie doesn't believe in the Constitution. His support for Sonya Sotomayor has trampled the Constitution. Christie will get trampled on caucus night.
Rand Paul, nope.
|The once and future Presidents shaking hands|
Nate Silver has said for most of the last 13 months that Donald Trump could never be the nominee. Now he wonders why the party failed to try and stop the man. The party did not want to stop the man, Nate. The party wanted to be led by the man, and the party wants to vote for the man. Nate Silver and the folks at ESPN that want me to pay extra to see American Athletic Conference games on ESPN News still think Trump will lose Iowa. The only thing statistically significant in Silver's life is how wrong he is again. He'll fire back that he called all 50 states in 2012. Even a random number generator is right sometimes, old foe. This time listen to the people, you can hear them sing the song of angry men: Trump for President.