Save Our Sox: How to Replace David Price

Danville, Kentucky -- Folks, disaster can strike when you least expect it. Take it from me. Just the other day, my whole lunch was ruined when I tried to use an expired Wendy's coupon. The only thing that got me out of bed that morning was the idea of digging into a hot bowl of chili, baked potatoes with sour cream, topped off by a Baconator.

I planned my entire day around a trip to Wendy's for an early lunch. I got to my local Wendy's promptly at 11:15 AM, and placed my order: 1 bowl of Dave's famous chili, 1 baked potato with all the fixings, and 1 extra-large Baconator. My mouth was watering at the mere thought of that heaping stack of beef with thick peppery bacon snugged between those sizzling patties. I could practically taste the rich sour cream, chives, and shredded cheese that so lovingly adorn every wholesome baked potato served by Wendy's. I had a coupon for each component of my order. But when I went to pay, the cashier shot me down. My coupon was expired - the promotion only lasted through January. My world was upended. I was not prepared for this contingency. I had to improvise.

Good baseball teams are prepared to deal with unpredictable contingencies: like the stunning news that David Price might have to undergo Tommy John surgery. This revelation has caught the unprepared and poorly-managed Boston Red Sox totally flat-footed. Aside from acquiring the temper-tantrum prone Chris Sale in a blockbuster trade, the Sox have spent the off-season shedding invaluable pitching depth like Clay Buchholz, despite the voluminous injury histories of Steven Wright and Drew Pomeranz.

The Red Sox would be better positioned to absorb the loss of Price if they had kept Buchholz and been more aggressive in pursuing many of the high marquee pitchers available via free agency and trade. Jered Weaver could've been had. John Danks, R.A. Dickey, and Bartolo Colon were available as well. Any of those four pitchers would've made great additions to the suddenly thin Red Sox rotation. Big Bart Colon, in particular, was signed for a bargain price - he would've been an excellent fit in Fenway, and has been considerably more successful in the postseason than the overpaid playoff under-performer David Price.

But the past is past. The Red Sox need to look to the future. Fortunately, all is not lost. David Price is not as hard to replace as you might expect; especially with Rick Porcello, the reigning Cy Young champ and stalwart groundball guru, still leading the rotation. There are plenty of worthy arms available on the free agent market or via trade that would make excellent additions to the Red Sox rotation. Here are just a few:

DOUG FISTER

If I'm Dave Dombrowski, this guy is #1 on my list of replacement options. I laid out the case for why the Colorado Rockies should sign him earlier this winter. He's a groundball guy - the type of batted ball profile you want when you play home games in Fenway Park, a toy stadium that turns lazy fly balls into two-baggers thanks to the Green Monster. He rebuilt his value by winning 12 games in limited action with the Houston Astros last season. Just a couple of seasons ago he was a serious Cy Young candidate with the Washington Nationals, posting a sterling 2.41 ERA and 16 wins.

Moreover, Doug makes sense from a chemistry perspective. Dave Dombrowski knows this - back in 2011 he swung a season-changing trade for Doug Fister while serving as GM for the Detroit Tigers. In addition, Doug Fister and Rick Porcello are former teammates; while Rick is clearly now the groundball master, he wouldn't be what he is today if Fister hadn't taught him how to Dougie.

JAKE PEAVY

If I'm Dave the dealer, Peavy is option #2. The chemistry case for Jake the Snake is obvious. As the GM of the Tigers at the time, Dave is no doubt aware of the three team trade made in 2013 between the Tigers, Red Sox, and Chicago White Sox that won Boston the World Series. Avisail Garcia to Chicago. Jose Iglesias to Detroit. Jake Peavy to the Red Sox. And from there, the Red Sox to a World Series championship. In 2013, Peavy helped shepherd the Red Sox to the promised land. The next year, Peavy won the World Series again with the San Francisco Giants. Rings on rings on rings.

Peavy was injured in 2016, but posted a solid 3.73 ERA in 2014 and an even better 3.58 ERA in 2015. Both of those ERAs bested David Price's bloated 3.99 ERA in 2016. It's shocking to me that he is still unsigned. With the 2013 championship core slowly disappearing from the team - David Ortiz has retired, Mike Napoli has moved on, Buchholz has been traded - it's important to have some guys who have "been there before" around. Peavy has been there before. Bring him aboard, Dave.

CONCLUSION

There are other great options to be had. Perhaps the Tigers could be persuaded to part with the electric Mike Pelfrey. Tim Lincecum, Tim Hudson, and Matt Cain are other veterans who could be had for a bargain price, and who also have extensive postseason experience during the San Francisco Giants' reign of even-year dominance over the MLB. But Fister and Peavy are both no-brainers for the Red Sox. They can go toe-to-toe with David Price, particularly in the postseason where Price has always been a non-factor.

Sometimes you have to improvise. I ultimately didn't get my chili, baked potato, and Baconator. I planned my day around that Wendy's coupon - but life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans. An expired coupon, like an unexpected elbow surgery, can be a bit of a gut punch. But it wasn't the end of the world, though I did have a bit of a meltdown that resulted in an embarrassing trip to the county sheriff's office and my expulsion from that Wendy's restaurant. I ate at Popeye's Chicken later that day and was pleasantly surprised by the quality of their mashed potatoes and spicy chicken. It wasn't the Baconator that I so craved, but sometimes, your second best option can be just as good as the real thing. Hopefully the Boston Red Sox learn that lesson before it's too late.

Too Big To Fail: How to Fix the 2017 Royals

Danville, Kentucky -- The Kansas City Royals -- the once proud franchise which shocked the sporting world by winning the 2015 World Series in Cinderella-story fashion -- are at a crossroads. Dayton Moore and the gang can buckle up for one more run at a championship with the current roster, or begin the long and painful process of rebuilding. The current iteration of the Royals is not without its share of talents. Yet, the team faces an uncertain future. To explain Kansas City's predicament, allow me to make a meandering political analogy.

In winter of 2012-2013, the United States government was rapidly hurtling towards a disaster called the "Fiscal Cliff." The Obama administration and Congress were tasked with crafting a budget agreement by 12:01 am EST on January 1, 2013, lest a series of draconian spending cuts and tax increases be automatically implemented. Analysts warned the cumulative effect of these measures could be enough to jolt the economy and ruin everyone's Christmas break.

Kansas City is rapidly heading towards what I dub the "Contract Cliff." On the surface, the team looks good. Most of the core that won a World Series in 2015 remains intact. The Royals have the best catcher in baseball not named Buster Posey. They have a top tier bullpen, led by lock-down guys like Joakim Soria. Yet, catastrophe lurks around the corner. The following players are set to become free agents after the 2017 season:

• 2016 All-Star Game MVP Eric Hosmer
• 2015 ALCS MVP and lead-off hitter Alcides Escobar
• Shift-beating slugger extraordinaire Mike Moustakas
• Highlight reel machine Lorenzo Cain
• Speedster Jarrod Dyson
• Danny Duffy, the team's unquestioned ace and rotation anchor
• Cyborg closer Wade Davis

Folks, that ain't pretty. Many of those dudes will make bank on the open market. Kansas City can't afford to keep them all. Once Kansas City heads over the Contract Cliff after the 2017 season, it could be ugly. The franchise could head into hibernation, like it did from 1986 to 2012.

What is to be done?

Some are suggesting a controlled demolition of the current roster. The idea would be to trade valuable assets in hopes of restocking the farm system and shortening the rebuild. Dayton Moore may be on the cusp of implementing this strategy.

Trade for Davis could happen this week, according to @nickcafardo. https://t.co/t0HJVd1wxi

— Royals Review (@royalsreview) December 4, 2016

Folk, selling off the Royals' best players is a worse idea than selling off your gold shares now that Trump is president. Here's how to build a Royals team that can win the World Series in 2017:

1) TRADE YORDANO VENTURA

Folks, most of the blame for the Royals' disappointing 2016 season can be laid at the feat of hot-head maniac Yordano Ventura. The kid has had a Benjamin Button style career trajectory: with each passing year he becomes less mature and less useful to the team.

[source - baseball reference]

Folks, I'm no statistician, but Yordano's ERA looks bloated. More bloated than myself after the time I ate 32 boneless wings in one sitting to teach my nephew a lesson about persistence. Not only have Ventura's on-field results become disappointing; he's a clubhouse nightmare, driving a wedge through a team that once rode its cohesive chemistry to a World Series title. The kid is more belligerent than John Bolton. According to Sam Mellinger, he has even alienated his own teammates.

When Johnny Cueto left the team after the 2015 championship run, the team pinned its hopes on Yordano. Kansas City needed him to grow up and pitch like the ace he can be. He failed. Time for the Royals to move on and recoup some prospects if they can. Ventura still has trade value; he can throw really hard. Trade him to a team like the Tampa Bay Rays that cares more about velocity and fastball spin-rate than chemistry.

2) SIGN BILLY BUTLER

With Kansas City having recently let "Cuban Breakfast" Kendrys Morales walk, it's time for the team to loosen their belts and dig into a Country Breakfast. The Royals need a DH. I would've preferred that they bring back former Royal and future Hall-of-Famer Carlos Beltran, but those pesky Houston Astros beat them to it.

The Royals need a man who can drive in runs. Billy can be that man. His batting average rebounded bigly last season -- a 33 point bounce from .251 in 2015 to a very respectable .284 in 2016. Billy's talents were wasted with the dead-end Oakland Athletics, but after a change of scenery he thrived. As a Yankee, Billy went 10-for-29 and batted .344. Wow!

Billy Butler hit 20+ home runs as recently as 2012, when he was an All Star and Silver Slugger. The Royals have always been able to play small ball; picking up Beefy Bill would let them bomb with the big boys too. It's a no-brainer to me, folks. Bring back Billy.

3) TRADE FOR CLAY BUCHHOLZ

With Edinson Volquez gone, the Royals need some starting pitching depth. The Boston Red Sox have made 2-time All Star Clay Buchholz available. Clay looked strong when he delivered 4 innings of 2-run ball for Boston in the ALDS. Imagine him playing in spacious Kauffman Stadium with one of the best outfield defenses in baseball instead of Fenway Park, where pitchers go to die. It would be foolish to not kick the tires. Make it happen, Dayton.

4) GET BACK TO BASICS

Folks, the Royals didn't win in 2015 because they had a large payroll or flashy free agent acquisitions. In fact, during the team's reign of dominance over the American League, they made a habit of embarrassing higher payroll teams that tried to buy their way to titles. The Royals thrived because they were a tight-knit group of buddies who had fun playing ball together.

That was all ruined last off-season. Last Winter, the Royals became too big to fail. The team lost sight of its underdog mentality by signing mercenaries like Ian Kennedy and inflating its payroll. Even Alex Gordon got greedy by demanding a massive contract instead of taking a hometown discount. Folks, this toxic culture needs to be changed.

The Royals play best with a chip on their shoulder; it's hard to play with a chip on your shoulder when you're lugging around the weighty expectations that come with a ludicrous $110,914,525 payroll instead. Shedding payroll would go a long way towards helping the Royals regain the insurgent attitude that served them so well in 2015.

CONCLUSION

Folks, the Contract Cliff is coming for the Royals, whether they like it or not. In a year's time, Eric Hosmer will be wearing pinstripes, Mike Moustakas will play for Billy Beane, Danny Duffy will wear Dodger Blue, and Wade Davis will be Boston's latest declining closer. Time waits for no man, yet the Royals still have one more shot at Autumnal Glory in 2017. The Royals can still contend if they keep the band together while bringing back some old faces like Billy and some new faces like Clay. The reports of the Kansas City farm system's death have been greatly exaggerated. The Royals have tons of promising young talents like Raul Mondesi, Christian Colon, Cheslor Cuthbert and Whit "DiMaggio" Merrifield. The team doesn't need to be blown up, just tinkered with.

The Royals core has one more summer together before they go their separate ways. 2017 will be like senior year of High School for the Royals, a team that has journeyed from the quiet plains that the Omaha Storm Chasers call home to the heights of major league glory. Most of these guys have known each other since their days in the minors. Everything that the Royals have accomplished they have accomplished together. But after next summer, these boys will become men. They'll be free agents with divergent paths laid before them. But all is not lost yet. If Dayton Moore plays his cards right, the Kansas City Royals can have one last victory lap before they drive off the Contract Cliff and into the sunset.

TWTW's 2016 ALDS Preview

Danville, Kentucky -- Boston once had a massacre, which in turn led Boston to host a Tea Party. That fine town audaciously launched a righteous revolution against the repressive British Crown. You can still see hints of that insurgent spirit any time Dustin Pedroia slides hard into second base, dirtying his home whites like a ragtag rebel might've muddied his militia apparel at the Battle of Lexington. It is a tenacious and indefatigable spirit that has animated American heroes from Boston's own John Adams to Ted Williams. The grit of grinders like Pedroia can still be found by those who know where to look for it; but the city is now better symbolized by overpaid softies like Drew Pomeranz and Pablo Sandoval, ex-patriots of the liberal elitist West Coast who have found a new home in the land of chowder and lobster. Boston used to be a city I could believe in; but no more.

Cleveland is a city I can and can't believe in. I believe in Cleveland's people, it's missing manufacturing jobs, it's symbolic figurehead LeBron James, it's willingness to host the 2016 Republican National Convention, and its scrappy youngsters Jose Ramirez and Tyler Naquin. I can't believe in Cleveland's shocking dismissal of clubhouse hero Juan Uribe, or their continued faith in Trevor Bauer, a nerd-boy who cares more about playing Pokemon and piloting drones than winning baseball games.

Cleveland doesn't believe in itself either: despite fielding a division winning team with World Series ambitions, the city has all but neglected the AL Central Champion Indians, leading to pathetic attendance figures in an otherwise magical season.

I can't believe in Boston, or Cleveland. But there is one man I can believe in: Rick Porcello. More importantly, Rick Porcello is a man who believes in Rick Porcello. I've written extensively about this kid, still only 27 years old and yet to hit his ceiling. Even in his darkest days, when he was public enemy #1 in Beantown, I never stopped believing, and neither did he.

The Sox giving Porcello a 4 year, $82 million extension might be the worst contract extension in baseball history. #RedSox #PorcelloSucks

— O (@TheOaty) July 30, 2015

Didn't ESPN write about how Porcello is going to be a Cy Young finalist? He sucks. That contract is one of the five worst in baseball.

— Ryan Landreth (@ryan_landreth) May 18, 2016

Holy fuck Porcello sucks

— Peacone36 (@Peacone36) May 22, 2016

After being reviled by Boston fans for more than a year, the rough-and-tumble kid from New Jersey is now a bonafide Cy Young candidate and sports a 22-4 Win/Loss Record that's prettier than Melania Trump. The fans can't get enough of him. The kid's got a sinker that sinks out of the strike-zone like Hillary Clinton sinks in the polls with each subsequent release of emails from Wikileaks. He's a groundball machine, more interested in getting his teammates involved in the game than putting on a show with strikeouts. He's stingy with walks: pounding the strike-zone with a precision matched only by the precision of Obama's unconstitutional drone strikes in Yemen and Pakistan.

Folks, I can't bet against Rick, and I can't bet against the Red Sox. The kid has 22 wins, and will be backed up by another man who has played postseason hero for Boston in the past: Clay Buchholz. Porcello and Buchholz are a hell of a 1-2 punch, a playoff rotation that far surpasses anything the injury-hobbled Indians will be able to compete with. Cleveland is hungry, but the ageless David Ortiz is hungrier.

Baseball is a team sport: but October is where heroes emerge. Porcello's teammate David Price is a perennial playoff choker; but Rick is about to set himself apart. This Autumn, Rick Porcello will achieve mythic status alongside past Red Sox greats like Pedro Martinez, future U.S. President Curt Schilling, and Derek Lowe. Underneath the bright lights of Fenway, a legend will be born.

Clay Buchholz Must Stay

Danville, Kentucky -- 1995 was a dark year, for those of us who spend our days on the assembly line with the thick smog of industrial chemicals heavy in the air and spend our nights numbing our aching bones with alcohol and trans-fat. The details are grainy to me, but it was several months after the passage of NAFTA and decimation of my local GM plant, which had long been a source of gainful employment to the Danville greater area. I was trying to pick up the pieces of a life that had been all but destroyed by the forces of globalization and cheap foreign competition. Work was hard to come by, but I eventually found meager wages serving as a shelve-stocker at Home Depot.

With my income halved by a recent divorce, I was forced to sell my house and relocate to a dingy apartment in a student ghetto near Lexington. When Home Depot fired me in cruel fashion for drinking on the job and smelling like Hot Pockets, the true bleakness of my situation became apparent. Before long, the electric company shut off my power. Only then did I truly despair, persisting on a diet of unheated cans of Chef Boyardee ravioli. I remember those nights all too well; sitting alone in the cold darkness, with everything silent save the lonely clinking sound of my spoon against the greasy tin can. 

As I ingested tin can after tin can of faux-Italian children's food, served as cold as the Kentucky Winter, I remembered everything I still had to be thankful for. I had a loving nephew, and a loyal Basset Hound. I found comfort in the knowledge that those who truly mattered to me would not judge me by my worst moments.

If only the Boston Red Sox had learned that basic life lesson: don't judge people when they're at their worst. Folks, it's hard to deny Clay Buchholz has been disappointing to the Sox this season. The 2-5 win/loss record doesn't lie. He's giving up dingers at an alarming rate; Clay Buchholz has bled home runs like my eyes bleed at the thought of giving into the new liberal trend of watching foreign soccer games. But let's not judge Clay when he's at his worst. He deserves the benefit of the doubt, being the longest tenured member of Boston's rotation, filled as it is with mercenaries like David Price and Rick Porcello. 

Clay has served the Boston Red Sox well, and will continue to do so in the future. He was a core piece of the 2013 championship team, and remains vital to the team's championship hopes in 2016. Have the good (and not so good) people of New England forgotten the 3 playoff wins started by Clay during the team's magical 2013 playoff run, which culminated in a World Series victory? Clay hasn't. Clay once made the Boston Red Sox great. Clay is now working to Make America Great Again. Buchholz, one of the few baseball players (other than hero Curt Schilling) bold enough to speak their mind in the face of liberal PC-culture, is an unapologetic Donald Trump supporter. It's no surprise that a winner like Clay supports a winner like Donald. Moreover, Clay's willingness to buck the liberal consensus speaks to his integrity and character. How many guys in the Boston clubhouse have the guts to come out and say they like Trump? David Price -- who unlike Clay has never won a playoff game -- doesn't. David Price only cares about endearing himself to the Boston media, intimidated by playing in a big market for the first time ever. 

@DAVIDprice24 David, it's better to be respected than to be loved.

— The Will To Win (@TWTWsports) April 22, 2016

Clay doesn't care about being loved. He wants to be respected. He tells it like it is. The cold canned ravioli I ate in the Winter of '95 can never be undone, but thanks to people like Clay, President Trump may one day heal the wounds of NAFTA.

It is beyond foolish to move Buchholz to the bullpen or DFA him. He has shown flashes of his old self and just needs time to rediscover the art of pitching. The Red Sox will regret letting the inexperienced Eduardo Rodriguez into the rotation at the expense of playoff-proven veteran Clay Buchholz. They will similarly come to rue the knuckballer experiment as well. After all Clay Buchholz has done for Boston and for America, he deserves a spot in the rotation. Don't judge him by his worst, Boston.