Thursday, December 22, 2016

Shut Down Duke Basketball



Danville, Kentucky - How did it come to this? Two weeks ago, Coach K was ready to lead the boys of Durham to another championship. Today, he should be ready to hand in Duke's resignation letter.

Related image
Jay Williams, bereft of knowing what would happen to Duke baketball, proudly representing his University before Grayson Allen ruined it for everyone

Duke basketball is a storied program. They feature some of my favorite players, like Jay Williams, Shane Battier, and Elton Brand. Those men are proven winners. They gave it their all on the court, and Elton Brand even stared in an episode of the last great Disney show, "The Jersey."

But Grayson Allen must go. We know of his crimes. Hopefully his resemblance to those that went after Kennedy is not true. 

Some would surmise that a man who so frequently calls for a ban or resignation does this once again with the ease of throwing away a Panera gift card. But I understand what it means to say Dak Prescott should resign, and I'm so upset while writing what must be written, I can't even link to my brilliant piece today calling for the deportation of millions of robots.

Folks, I do want to add some credibility to my insight. I was the one who rightfully said the Thunder should not resign Kevin Durant. And look at them now, Russell Westbrook may average a triple double for the first time since Oscar Robertson and the dream of Goldwater '64. And look at the Warriors, they're not going to win 73 games again. They're worse. The Thunder are better. And if you'd read me, you'd know this.

But anyone can get lucky once. I've gotten lucky many times, and in the bathroom of many Pizza Hut restaurants no less. Nobody is right more than I am because I only talk about what I know: fast food, politics, sports, life, religion, love, pop culture, and miscellaneous.  Few called the election. I did. I correctly predicted 49 of 50 statesI said the Royals would win the A.L. Central in 2015, and predicted they'd win the ALCS in six games and the World Series in five. Meanwhile, Fangraphs focused on mean variance or some other shit and took the 'not Royals'. I said the Blue Jays would win the A.L. East in 2015. In August of 2015 when the Nate Silver crowd said Verlander was done, I noted he'd be a winner again.

Image result for shane battier
How did it come to this? 

And as I've said: Grayson Allen must go. Allen has tripped not one, not two, and not even three players. Sure, the liberal media says he's tripped three guys. This is the same liberal media that said Donald Trump was going to lose. The same liberal media that said Chipotle wouldn't make us all sick. Chipotle has made us sick, and Grayson Allen is likely to trip a man to death if he's not stopped.

Allen has ruined a special season for Duke. Marquis Bolden is simply a player, folks. You can throw away the stat sheet with him. I've had love at first sight nine times. And noticing a great prospect is like that. When I first saw LeBron James, I just knew: hey, this guy is going to be good. Yet again, I was right. Luke K. is also the same way. Excellent player. He has incredible gristle (grit + hustle). Jason Tatum shoots like Dirk Nowitzki. A skill he developed by shooting a basketball. Imagine if Allen had done that, instead of tripping, folks.

This is when someone would say: Will, why not just ban Grayson Allen? Because Duke is a team. College basketball is a team sport. It's about 13 men who work day in and day out for literally zero money. They don't want any of Coach K's $7 million plus salary. No, they do it for the team.

And as a team rises together, they fall together. Grayson Allen has committed an awful offense. And now the whole team must pay. The rest of the team has done nothing wrong. Coach K has never done anything wrong in his entire life. But he too must pay. You see, folks, when our quarterback was caught with moonshine before the Kentucky state football semi-finals in 1974, no doubt precipitated by the unfair targeting of Richard Nixon in the Watergate investigation, he was suspended. But in a way, we all were because we were all at the party and also suspended. But had we not been at the party, we would have been suspended anyway. Our coach wouldn't have let us play in the game without our quarterback because we were a team. Duke is now in that same moment.

How Duke could disband their program is not easy. Coach K. is a true professional though. He'll think of the right way to handle this, which is why he wasn't focused on saying what penalty Grayson Allen would face. He was probably starting to think about dismantling a program he built. And now, a program he'll close.

The end of the night can be looked at a few different ways. Sure, sometimes the bar closes and deprives us of that one last series of fireball shots. One can sulk about that. One can become consumed by that. One can hate because of that. Or one can start anew. Don't cry for Duke basketball's end. Celebrate that it only took the life of Duke basketball to end Grayon Allen's tripping.