Sunday, December 11, 2016

Dak Prescott Must Resign

Danville, Kentucky -- America loves a fresh face. This was a lesson I learned the hard way while I was an employee at a rubber mill in Louisville. I loved my job. It was an honor and a privilege to help produce the material that is the lifeblood of our civilization. Think of how important rubber is, folks. Rubber puts tires on our cars so we can drive to work and to Olive Garden. Rubber puts treads on the tanks that our men and women in uniform use to deliver freedom abroad. Rubber bullets allow American law enforcement to suppress protesters without resorting to lethal force.

I was born to work in a rubber mill, folks. I dutifully put in 8 years working at that rubber mill. I did my time, gradually working my way up the company's food chain and earning the respect of my superiors. But then one day some punk showed up. I think he was roommates with my boss's nephew or something. He even had a fancy college degree. Before I knew it, this twenty-eight year-old carpetbagger had earned a position in management in no time.

Why? What that kid knew about making rubber I could fit into my eye with little to no discomfort. I spent almost a decade working on the assembly line. This kid was part of the company for only a couple of months. He had never even taken a whiff of the toxic smell of molten rubber. The injustice of it all was infuriating.

rubber production in action, folks.
America loves a fresh face. Every season, the NFL talking heads fawn over the improbable success of a rookie quarterback. Carson Wentz. Mark Sanchez. Robert Griffin III. Colin Kaepernick. Nothing sells more jerseys and NFL League Pass packages than an exciting rookie QB that Skip Bayless can label "the next Cam Newton" or "the next Peyton Manning" or "the next Tom Brady." We've all seen it: a season or two of serviceable football from a fresh-faced rookie, followed by uncontrollable hype and a massive let-down.

Folks, Dak Prescott, over-hyped rookie QB of the 11-2 Dallas Cowboys, is just the next RGIII that will be hyped for a year or two before fading into irrelevance. He's the Marco Rubio of quarterbacks. Marco Rubio, like that yuppie at the rubber mill in Louisville, was an annoying twerp because he didn't wait his turn. He was impatient and cut in line, unfairly shunting more deserving guys like Governor Jeb Bush aside. Just like Rubio betrayed his own mentor Jeb in cold blood, the upstart young Dak Prescott has stolen the job of the more deserving Tony Romo.
The great quarterbacks in this league wait, my friends. Patience is a virtue. Tom Brady waited until Drew Bledsoe was no longer fit for the job. Aaron Rodgers waited for Brett Favre to retire. Prescott, on the other hand, cut in line. Dak performed admirably as a substitute for the injured Romo, no doubt. But with Romo healthy Dak has no business being the starter anymore.

the best things in life are worth waiting for, folks.
Tonight against the New York Giants, Dak turned in his worst performance yet. He looked lost, and unready for prime-time. He made the classic rookie mistake of favoring one receiver while under pressure, like young Matt Stafford used panic and over-target Calvin Johnson. Tony Romo has far more experience playing in high-leverage games. I have no doubt the Cowboys would be 13-0 under a healthy Romo's leadership.
America loves a fresh face, but America doesn't always need a fresh face. Sometimes America needs a man who has been there before. A man who knows the smell of molten rubber. A man who has more political experience than a one-term senator from Florida. A man who has played more than a season in Jerry Land. That's why I call on Dak Prescott to tender his letter of resignation to Jerry Jones. This is Tony's team. It will live or die by Tony's hand. For the good of the team, Dak must step aside.