They're Shuttin' Detroit Down: The Tragedy of the Tigers' Offseason

Danville, Kentucky -- America is a country that likes to live above its means. We love the frosty kiss of sweet, sweet artificial flavors and coloring so much that we grab the 44 ounce Slurpee instead of the more reasonably sized 16 ounce or 22 ounce cup. We can't fathom eating only 12 delicious boneless wings at Buffalo Wild Wings, so we order 18 of them instead. A 6 inch philly cheese-steak, dripping with sumptuous melted cheddar, would never suffice; we demand a foot-long sandwich. Regular SUVs are too 'beta' for many burly American men; so they drive colossal gas-guzzling Hummers. The M60 Patton tank was a thing of beauty, but when America defends freedom abroad these days our men and women in uniform use the gargantuan, 70-ton M1 Abrams tank. Americans homeowners love to buy big and flashy houses to signal our pride and success so much that we created a practice called sub-prime lending and caused an economic collapse. Americans love to go big or go home, regardless of price. It is a glorious lifestyle.

Folks, the Detroit Tigers are an All-American franchise. Their elderly owner Mike Ilitch has tried to spend his way to a World Series. But they too have been living beyond their means. The chunky contracts of Justin Verlander, Miguel Cabrera, Victor Martinez, Jordan Zimmermann, Justin Upton, and even the long-departed-but-still-on-the-payroll Prince Fielder, have finally caught up to the team, like a hefty bar tab that you hoped wouldn't come due.

Like a pissed off loan shark, 2nd year General Manager Al Avila has come to collect on Ilitch's overdue debts. The party is over, the guests are rushing towards the door, and Mr. Ilitch is about to get stuck with that eye-popping bill that nobody wanted to foot.

Folks, they're shutting Detroit down. Packing it in. Hanging up the cleats. Folding up the tent. Closing the window of contention. In an ominous press conference several weeks ago, Avila proclaimed "changes are coming" to the Tigers and that "we want to get younger, we want to get leaner, we want to run the organization without having to go over the means of the organization." They've already traded the loveable Cameron Maybin, a true fan favorite and spark-plug. There's talks of trading 2 time AL MVP and Triple-Crown winner Miguel Cabrera. There's talk of trading the 2011 AL MVP and Cy Young winner, Justin Verlander. There's talks of trading Ian Kinsler, the gritty-as-heck gold glove second-baseman. There's even talks of trading the electric Mike Pelfrey.

That's not what I would do if I were the GM. I would largely keep the current roster intact and try to patch-up the Tigers' weaknesses via free agency. The Tigers need a backup catcher? Alex Avila, the GM's son who so diligently handled the pitching staff for all those years, is available for a reunion. Need insurance at DH or another outfielder? Chris Carter and his 41 dingers can be had for a bargain price. Need to improve the Tigers' pitching staff? Fernando Rodney, Joe Blanton, and Rich Hill are obvious targets. Proven winners like Ryan Howard and Stephen Drew are available as well.

In spite of this bountiful free agent class, every indication points to a major downsizing of the Tigers' payroll. At a time when Donald Trump is bringing back blue-collar jobs to the rust belt, Mike Ilitch and Al Avila are going to send Detroit Tiger jobs abroad. Lifelong Detroit Tiger Verlander is by all indications headed to Hollywood.

Justin Verlander's new house is 19.2 miles from Dodger Stadium. https://t.co/4Cca9N14HE

— Bill Shea (@Bill_Shea19) December 1, 2016

Folks, a mass exodus of all baseball talent is not what the city of Detroit needs right now. The Pistons are coming back to Detroit. Thanks to Trump, manufacturing jobs are coming back to Detroit too. The Tigers nearly pulled off a comeback of their own this past season, falling just a couple games short of a playoff berth. Now is the time to double down and make one last run with this current roster. Don't blow up the team. Trading "face of the franchise" players like Verlander and Cabrera would be an insult to loyal fans. Comerica Park would be emptier than Tropicana Field or a Hillary Clinton rally. It would be a betrayal of the fans who have stuck by the team through thick and thin. It would be a betrayal of future Hall-of-Famer Miguel Cabrera, who has said he wants to retire a Tiger.

The Tigers' spending problems will naturally resolve themselves as several big contracts expire after the 2017 season. Listen: I like deal-makers, that's why I admired Dave Dombrowski and why I'm excited about eight years of Trump. If somebody calls Al Avila and offers a top prospect for Verlander or Cabrera, you have to listen. Or at least not hang up immediately, like I do when my parole officer calls. But the first rule of deal-making is to not seem desperate: if the guy on the other end of the phone senses panic, your leverage will evaporate. Stay strong, Mr. Avila. But remember: the fans will be heartbroken next season if Miguel Cabrera is wearing Bostonian red socks and Justin Verlander is wearing Dodger blue.

I hate this #mlbtheshow #PS4share pic.twitter.com/SeqCqjqiwA

— jingleswithbells (@catswithbats) November 6, 2016

What can be done? If you live in Michigan, write letters to your state Senators and Representatives. Tell them to slap steep tariffs on out-of-state baseball products if Avila trades popular players away. But at the end of the day, Mr. Avila needs to do the right thing: don't outsource Detroit's baseball talent to elitist teams on the coasts. The true fans would rather Let the Detroit Tigers Go Bankrupt from awful contracts than look Verlander and Cabrera in the eye and tell them that their run with the Tigers is over. Out on the coasts, in the land of high payrolls - Los Angeles, Boston, New York - they're still living it up. Here in the real world, they're shutting Detroit down.

The Ballad of Drew Smyly

Danville, Kentucky -- Arkansas is a down-to-earth, no nonsense kind of place. Folks root for their favorite team, the Razorbacks. They eat their favorite dish, Possum Pie. When corrupt politicians like the Clintons get caught in the act of conning the little guy, as they did in Whitewater-gate, the people of Arkansas demand accountability.

Drew Smyly -- a hardworking kid from Maumelle, Arkansas with a dream -- is a down-to-earth, no nonsense kind of pitcher. He doesn't light up the radar gun. He plies his trade with excellent location and crisp breaking pitches. When Smyly left his fellow hurlers, Justin Verlander, Max Scherzer, Anibal Sanchez, and Rick Porcello to start anew with the communist sympathizing Tampa Bay Rays, he was just a learner. Now, Drew is the master.

Since the blockbuster trade that brought David Price to the Detroit Tigers, Drew has the best ERA in the AL. His already impressive strikeout rate has climbed upward like my own credit card debt. Today, he'll square off against new Tigers pitching prospect Michael Fulmer. This isn't the first time Drew has faced his former team. Yet, the otherwise indomitable left-hander will nonetheless feel pangs in his heart as he revisits the team that give him his shot in the majors. He had some good times in the Olde English D. He got his first taste of the playoffs in the 2013, and also his first taste of the crushing bitterness of playoff elimination. He got to be the little brother and mentee of Cy Young winners like Verlander and Scherzer.

But it all came to an abrupt end one day, when he was traded mid-game to a franchise that was foreign and alien to him. When he takes the field at Comerica Park this evening, Drew will remember the emotions of that hot July afternoon almost two years ago:

Both on and off the field it was clear Smyly was emotional as he came to terms with the fact he'd been traded. While he's looking forward to this new part of his life, it's still a bittersweet moment. "Tampa is excited to have me, so I'm excited to be there. A team that wants you is always nice, but this is all I know, so it sucks leaving." [source: http://www.blessyouboys.com/2014/7/31/5957655/for-drew-smyly-and-austin-jackson-thursdays-trade-was-a-bittersweet]

Would the Tigers take back that trade if they could? The win-now acquisition of David Price didn't net Pizza Mogul Mike Ilitch's long-desired World Series championship, but you could hardly blame Mr. Dombrowski for making the move. Nonetheless, Todd Andrew Smyly does not entertain such hindsight thinking. He's a man solely focused on missing bats and recording outs. He's a kid with a Cy Young award in his future, if he can get a gaudy win/loss record that matches his pedigree and work ethic. Drew's pitching mastery will continue against the Tigers today, in a simple yet brilliant manner that elite Arkansans like Crooked Hillary will never understand. The good people of Detroit will be understandably frustrated as a former-Tiger twirls a gem versus his former team, but all Drew can do is smile.

TWTW's Opening Day Preview: Detroit Tigers @ Miami Marlins

Danville, Kentucky -- Time: its passage is as inexorable as it is cruel. With each tick of the clock, time passes like rain on the mountain, like wind in the meadow, like Chile con queso slips between a man's fingers if he's bold enough to thrust a hand into the skillet and lay claim to the cheesy goodness for himself. Time passes, but memories of simpler times and younger days do not.

Memory can be a refuge of comfort, nostalgia, and consolation, but memory can also pierce, sear, and sting like a hot needle in an amateur do-it-yourself ear piercing operation. Baseball is a game of memory. The game honors its golden-era forebears, and judges each new generation of players using these heroes as a benchmark.

For Justin Verlander and the Detroit Tigers, their season-opener vs. the Miami Marlins will arouse a variety of memories --- mostly negative. Justin Verlander will face Wei-Yin Chen, Taiwan's finest son. This game is not considered a marquee match-up in 2016, a year of statistical inundation and sabermetric besiegement. Yet, for Verlander, this is the match-up of a lifetime.

October 3rd, 2014. Game 2 of the American League Divisional Series between the Baltimore Orioles and Detroit Tigers. A cold and salty Autumn breeze was blowing in from the nearby harbor. With Max Scherzer having failed to silence the bombastic Orioles offense the night before, Mr. Verlander was tasked with playing stopper. His opponent was Baltimore's Taiwanese lefty, Wei-Yin Chen. A game 2 win would tie the series and give the Tigers a chance to take a series lead on their home-field with David Price on the mound. In years past, Justin had been the man to single-handedly keep the Tigers' playoff hopes alive. He put the team on his back and delivered wins in games 1 and 5 of the 2012 ALDS and game 3 of the 2012 ALCS. In 2013 he once again delivered a game 5 win in the ALDS, while allowing 1 run the entire postseason.

In game 2 of the 2014 ALDS, that Verlander was nowhere to be found. Justin, the man who only a postseason ago was a complete game-throwing strikeout machine, went 5 innings --- putting the game in the hands of a bullpen less trustworthy than Megyn Kelly. The results were predictable. Though the voracious right-handed slugging Tigers lineup had pounded Wei-Yin Chen like mainland China might one day decimate Wei-Yin's native Taiwan in a hypothetical cross-Strait war, Joba Chamberlain and Joakim Soria's entry into the game was rightfully greeted with cheers from the Baltimore audience as they conspired to squander a winnable game. The Orioles took a 2-0 lead in the series before winning game 3 in Detroit to complete the sweep. The Detroit Tigers have not played playoff baseball since.

Tomorrow's Tigers-Marlins match-up is not considered particularly sexy by the fangraphs crowd. Both teams project to be middle-of-the-pack in their respective divisions, if you are foolish enough to believe projections. Other opening day showdowns have more compelling story-lines; take the re-match between the World Champion Kansas City Royals™ and the runner-up New York Mets, for instance. I planned to write a preview of last night's Matt Harvey v. Edinson Volquez face-off, but I've been in a spiraling haze of depressive alcoholism for the past few days as polling data shows Ted Cruz leads Donald Trump in Wisconsin.

Casual baseball fans could be forgiven for not caring about this Tigers-Marlins match-up. But for Justin Verlander, this game means the world. Longing for redemption, he has a chance to help the team get off to a good start as the Tigers take on the Marlins in Miami. To do so, he'll have to do what he couldn't do in 2014: beat Wei-Yin Chen, ex-Oriole and key free agent signing by Miami. Justin, restored to his rightful role as opening day starter after temporarily yielding the position to Max Scherzer in 2014 and David Price in 2015, knows what must be done. A time will come for reflection on his disappointing 2014 and quiet, unheralded brilliance down the stretch in 2015, but it is not this day. On this opening day, Justin will take the mound with a steely eyed-determination. Metrics don't respect the Marlins, but Justin will. Giancarlo Stanton is the baseball equivalent of a B-52 bomber. Dee Gordon and Ichiro are better at slap-hitting than my ex-wives. Opening day will be a test, but Justin is ready for it.

After his opening day start, Justin Verlander will take the most well-known Upton in the Tigers organization out to a secluded spot on the beach and sip a tropical beverage adorned with a colorful little umbrella. As he gazes wistfully at the Atlantic Ocean, illuminated by the mingling orange, pink, and golden hues of the Miami sunset, Justin will accept that he cannot undo the failures of 2014 and 2015.

the sun sets in Miami, but not upon Verlander.

The agonizing memories of Nelson Cruz and Adam Jones and J.J. Hardy celebrating their berth to the ALCS on the Tigers' home turf cannot be un-etched from Justin's psyche. Yet, each new baseball season offers the possibility of absolution from the sins of yesterday. Justin will slowly sip on his cocktail, feeling inner serenity and tranquility.

Time passes and players come and go, but Justin draws strength from his status as the immovable pillar of the Tigers' franchise since debuting with the team in 2006. The script for 2016 is largely the same as 2015, albeit with some new cast-members like Jordan Zimmerman, Justin Upton, and Mike Pelfrey. Justin, Detroit's Once and Future Ace, has to find a way to defy time and deliver his team to the October Classic. Justin is not a man who excels in a Best Supporting Actor role, playing sidekick to Scherzer or Price. He is a man who relishes the spotlight and all its attendant pressures and expectations. Justin has restored himself as Detroit's unquestioned leader. He must now restore baseball in Detroit.