TWTW's Pistons v. Cavaliers Preview

Danville, Kentucky -- There's no better feeling than picking up your first pay stub at a new job. The nineties were not kind to me. NAFTA battered and bruised me -- I was more crestfallen and defeated than Grant Hill's ankles. In 2005, after a few years of aimlessly bouncing around dead-end jobs, I had a gut feeling that the housing market was the place to be. I got myself an online degree in real estate, and hit the mean streets of Danville to sell houses, eager like I was fired from a cannon. It was beautiful, folks. And there was no feeling more rewarding than spending my hard-earned wages on the best appetizers and bourbon a Danville man can buy. The most important part of my successful real estate venture was that it proved hard work pays off. When faced with unemployment and bankruptcy, I did what all true Americans do: I went back to work.

The Detroit Pistons of 2000-2009 were a team that was all about going to work. They didn't have the flash or the star power of teams like Kobe's Lakers, but they wore opponents down with hard-nosed defense and their grinder mentality. Seven years ago, an aging Pistons team's reign of dominance came to an end when King James unceremoniously dethroned them in the first round of the playoffs. After many seasons of irrelevance, the Pistons are finally back in the playoffs. Seven years later, LeBron must suppress an upstart young Pistons team if he hopes to advance out of the Eastern Conference and vie for one more rematch vs. the San Antonio Spurs or nerd-darlings Golden State Warriors.

Lots of folks these days love to rave about the quality of the Western Conference while disparaging the East. The Western Conference may have a better TS%, shiner PER numbers, more VORP, and Steph Curry, but for all their glitz and glamour, they lack the tenacious grit of the East. Folks, it's good to see two blue collar towns like Cleveland and Detroit squaring off in the playoffs. Here are the key factors that will determine the winner of the series:

MOMENTUM

Folks, the Pistons have all the momentum in this match-up. Fresh off a 112-110 victory over the Cavaliers in the last game of the regular season, they've already set the tone for the series. In addition, the Pistons won the season series 3-1. The city of Detroit is united behind the Pistons, thrilled to see their team back in contention. The city of Cleveland is not united behind the Cavaliers: folks from the mistake on the lake are more preoccupied with the looming threat of political violence as the 2016 Republican National Convention nears. The Cavaliers have limped into the playoffs, reeling from humiliating losses to the Brooklyn Nets, Memphis Grizzlies, and pitiful Chicago Bulls recently. Not to mention, the team is in disarray: at the moment when LeBron needs to lead the team, he won't even follow the Cavaliers on twitter. LeBron wants OUT of Cleveland again, which may put the Pistons back IN to the Conference Semi-Finals. Advantage: Pistons.

COACHING

This first round match-up also presents an intriguing coaching showdown: the veteran Stan Van Gundy versus the unproven Tyronn Lue. SVG has the Pistons united around a single purpose: winning. In Cleveland's Game of Thrones, Lue is just King James' puppet. SVG has tons of playoff experience and once coached the Orlando Magic to the NBA finals; what Lue knows about coaching in the playoffs, SVG could fit into his eyes with little to no discomfort. Advantage: Pistons.

POINT GUARD

Kyrie Irving is the most overrated thing to come out of Cleveland since the Indians. He cares more about his scoring numbers than making his teammates better. Meanwhile, Reggie Jackson is one of the game's clutchest. Advantage: Pistons.

PLAYOFF EXPERIENCE

While the Pistons have more heart than the quarreling, in-fighting Cavs, they are greener in the gills. They could be mentally unprepared for the challenge that awaits. LeBron alone has played more minutes in the playoffs than the entire Pistons roster. The Pistons might not be ready for the spotlight. Advantage: Cavaliers. 

BENCH

The Pistons bench is depleted like my finances after a trip to the Casino. There will be no cavalry or reinforcements off the bench: just the rotting corpse of Steve Blake. Advantage: Cavaliers.

FINAL PREDICTION

The Pistons have a lot going in their favor. They're young, scrappy, and hungry. Andre Drummond vacuums up rebounds like I vacuum up mini corn dogs at Buffalo Wild Wings.

Yet, the Cavaliers have rings. They also have LeBron James, who in my opinion, is still the game's premier talent -- jacking up threes doesn't impress me, Steph. Kevin Love is a great player, though these days he seems to care more about making bad State Farm commercials than refining his game. I predict the Cavaliers will win in 5 games.

Even in defeat, 2016 is a victory for the Pistons. They have climbed the mountain. They have righted the ship. They have returned to the playoffs. They have gone back to work.

My return to work was short-lived. My time in the real-estate sector was great while it lasted, but like my time at the GM plant and my time on the oil rigs, it wasn't meant to last. Intrusive government regulation and the welfare state eventually brought us the 2008 housing market collapse and the Obama presidency. But with the Obama presidency in its waning days, things are looking up again in America. For the Pistons and millions of other job-seeking Americans across this country, it's time to go to work.

TWTW's Opening Day Preview: Detroit Tigers @ Miami Marlins

Danville, Kentucky -- Time: its passage is as inexorable as it is cruel. With each tick of the clock, time passes like rain on the mountain, like wind in the meadow, like Chile con queso slips between a man's fingers if he's bold enough to thrust a hand into the skillet and lay claim to the cheesy goodness for himself. Time passes, but memories of simpler times and younger days do not.

Memory can be a refuge of comfort, nostalgia, and consolation, but memory can also pierce, sear, and sting like a hot needle in an amateur do-it-yourself ear piercing operation. Baseball is a game of memory. The game honors its golden-era forebears, and judges each new generation of players using these heroes as a benchmark.

For Justin Verlander and the Detroit Tigers, their season-opener vs. the Miami Marlins will arouse a variety of memories --- mostly negative. Justin Verlander will face Wei-Yin Chen, Taiwan's finest son. This game is not considered a marquee match-up in 2016, a year of statistical inundation and sabermetric besiegement. Yet, for Verlander, this is the match-up of a lifetime.

October 3rd, 2014. Game 2 of the American League Divisional Series between the Baltimore Orioles and Detroit Tigers. A cold and salty Autumn breeze was blowing in from the nearby harbor. With Max Scherzer having failed to silence the bombastic Orioles offense the night before, Mr. Verlander was tasked with playing stopper. His opponent was Baltimore's Taiwanese lefty, Wei-Yin Chen. A game 2 win would tie the series and give the Tigers a chance to take a series lead on their home-field with David Price on the mound. In years past, Justin had been the man to single-handedly keep the Tigers' playoff hopes alive. He put the team on his back and delivered wins in games 1 and 5 of the 2012 ALDS and game 3 of the 2012 ALCS. In 2013 he once again delivered a game 5 win in the ALDS, while allowing 1 run the entire postseason.

In game 2 of the 2014 ALDS, that Verlander was nowhere to be found. Justin, the man who only a postseason ago was a complete game-throwing strikeout machine, went 5 innings --- putting the game in the hands of a bullpen less trustworthy than Megyn Kelly. The results were predictable. Though the voracious right-handed slugging Tigers lineup had pounded Wei-Yin Chen like mainland China might one day decimate Wei-Yin's native Taiwan in a hypothetical cross-Strait war, Joba Chamberlain and Joakim Soria's entry into the game was rightfully greeted with cheers from the Baltimore audience as they conspired to squander a winnable game. The Orioles took a 2-0 lead in the series before winning game 3 in Detroit to complete the sweep. The Detroit Tigers have not played playoff baseball since.

Tomorrow's Tigers-Marlins match-up is not considered particularly sexy by the fangraphs crowd. Both teams project to be middle-of-the-pack in their respective divisions, if you are foolish enough to believe projections. Other opening day showdowns have more compelling story-lines; take the re-match between the World Champion Kansas City Royals™ and the runner-up New York Mets, for instance. I planned to write a preview of last night's Matt Harvey v. Edinson Volquez face-off, but I've been in a spiraling haze of depressive alcoholism for the past few days as polling data shows Ted Cruz leads Donald Trump in Wisconsin.

Casual baseball fans could be forgiven for not caring about this Tigers-Marlins match-up. But for Justin Verlander, this game means the world. Longing for redemption, he has a chance to help the team get off to a good start as the Tigers take on the Marlins in Miami. To do so, he'll have to do what he couldn't do in 2014: beat Wei-Yin Chen, ex-Oriole and key free agent signing by Miami. Justin, restored to his rightful role as opening day starter after temporarily yielding the position to Max Scherzer in 2014 and David Price in 2015, knows what must be done. A time will come for reflection on his disappointing 2014 and quiet, unheralded brilliance down the stretch in 2015, but it is not this day. On this opening day, Justin will take the mound with a steely eyed-determination. Metrics don't respect the Marlins, but Justin will. Giancarlo Stanton is the baseball equivalent of a B-52 bomber. Dee Gordon and Ichiro are better at slap-hitting than my ex-wives. Opening day will be a test, but Justin is ready for it.

After his opening day start, Justin Verlander will take the most well-known Upton in the Tigers organization out to a secluded spot on the beach and sip a tropical beverage adorned with a colorful little umbrella. As he gazes wistfully at the Atlantic Ocean, illuminated by the mingling orange, pink, and golden hues of the Miami sunset, Justin will accept that he cannot undo the failures of 2014 and 2015.

the sun sets in Miami, but not upon Verlander.

The agonizing memories of Nelson Cruz and Adam Jones and J.J. Hardy celebrating their berth to the ALCS on the Tigers' home turf cannot be un-etched from Justin's psyche. Yet, each new baseball season offers the possibility of absolution from the sins of yesterday. Justin will slowly sip on his cocktail, feeling inner serenity and tranquility.

Time passes and players come and go, but Justin draws strength from his status as the immovable pillar of the Tigers' franchise since debuting with the team in 2006. The script for 2016 is largely the same as 2015, albeit with some new cast-members like Jordan Zimmerman, Justin Upton, and Mike Pelfrey. Justin, Detroit's Once and Future Ace, has to find a way to defy time and deliver his team to the October Classic. Justin is not a man who excels in a Best Supporting Actor role, playing sidekick to Scherzer or Price. He is a man who relishes the spotlight and all its attendant pressures and expectations. Justin has restored himself as Detroit's unquestioned leader. He must now restore baseball in Detroit.

Dying with Dignity: Why the Detroit Lions Should Quit

Danville, Kentucky -- I am firm believer in never giving up; in putting your heart into something until you have nothing left to give. I believe in taking no days off, holding nothing back, putting it all on the line, going all-in, and leaving it all on the field. Yet, even I, know that sometimes, you have to fold: cut your losses, and quit while you can.

Rax Roast Beef knew when to quit. Folks, let me tell you about one of my favorite restaurants of all time. I'm a Danville man, born and raised. Rax -- based in blue-collar Ironton, Ohio -- used to be a staple beef-joint in the rust belt. Folks traveling through West Virginia, Ohio, and Kentucky during the glorious '80s knew that Rax was the best eating a man could get when home was behind and the open road ahead.

Rax embodied the spirit of the 80s. Thanks to Reagan, it was morning in America again. Americans were working hard and being rewarded for it; we were free to spend our disposable income on heaping stacks of beef and melted cheddar cheese, thanks to low taxes and small government. Every baked potato served by Rax came with not only luscious toppings, but also a feeling of optimism and boundless opportunity. It was a great family atmosphere; I used to take the wife and my children there every Sunday afternoon to eat a Deluxe Ham melt and watch the Bengals game.

At Rax's peak, it was an unparalleled fast-food phenom. 504 locations in 38 states, and even expansion into the international market. Yet, all good things must pass. Thanks to globalization, even the reawakening of the 80s gave way to the crushing disappointment of the 90s. By 1996, two years after the arrival of NAFTA, Rax filed for bankruptcy. Rax, a mom-and-pop fast-food chain, just couldn't compete with mega-franchises like Arby's and Wendy's. Many jobs were lost, and the Mid West was never the same. In spite of its colossal implosion, I respect Rax. They knew when to quit, and because of it, the franchise has down-scaled but persevered.

If only the Detroit Lions knew when to quit, like Rax did. There may not be a franchise in sports history that has inflicted as much pain on its fans as the Detroit Lions. I'm a Bengals fan, but I've seen firsthand the misery that this franchise breeds amongst its followers. My uncle, a life-long Lions fan and native of Flint, watches the team year in and year out, yearning for a championship, but always disappointed.

One of the oldest franchises in the NFL, with a loyal and long-suffering fan base. No playoff wins since 1991, when George H.W. was president and Jeb was just a starry-eyed youngster looking for his shot. No Super Bowl appearances in franchise history. And thanks to a disastrous off-season, nothing to look forward to in 2016.

Why the Lions are Hopeless

Two events this off-season have caused me to abandon all hope for this franchise.

First, the Fords have failed to take care of their own.

It's been a pleasure Detroit. Home is where the heart is and my heart will always be here. #DVE4Ever #WSU #B.H. pic.twitter.com/56xME7C7nN

— Joique Bell (@JoiqueBell) February 16, 2016

Joique Bell was the single most inspirational story of the Detroit Lions over the past half-decade. Born in humble circumstances in nearby Benton Harbor, Michigan, his untapped raw potential caught the eye of discerning scouts. He went on to play for Division II school Wayne State University, in mid-town Detroit. It wasn't glamorous. While a student at Wayne State, Joique was broke. There was no special treatment for athletes or fancy living facilities:

While preparing for his senior season at Wayne State, he had to survive an apartment so rough, his mother offered him $500 to move out. Rent was $150.
"I had to live in this (expletive) dungeon," Bell says. "It was triflin'. Dirt would just come off the floor. There was a pink shower, but the bottom of it was just black. It was the nastiest thing I've ever seen.
"My mom was crying because it was so filthy."
Bell went on to win the Harlon Hill Trophy – Division II's version of the Heisman – that year. (via MLive)

To make ends meet, Joique worked as a security guard for the Lions at Ford Field. He bounced around the NFL, notably getting cut by Bill Belichick, before landing on the Lions. Playing for his hometown team, Joique had great success and was a fan favorite. Bell was the go-to guy when the ball needed to be pounded across the goal-line, a master of lowering his shoulder and grinding his way to touchdowns. His uplifting life narrative was a source of pride and inspiration for a city that was down on its luck and needed a hero. Joique was just like his city: young, scrappy, and hungry.

Joique, the kid who beat the odds and became a star, was unceremoniously cut by the Lions on February 16th, 2016. That's not how you treat family.

Second, Martha Ford's betrayal of the city's proudest son might actually be only the second most depressing thing to happen to the Lions this off-season. The only thing harsher than the Michigan winter was the news that Calvin Johnson, an all-time great receiver and franchise cornerstone, was debating retirement.

The parallels to Barry Sanders' premature retirement are striking: a future hall-of-famer with years of productivity ahead of him, hanging the cleats early, leaving the Lions in disarray as he walks out the door.

Calvin Johnson has one thing going for him: he knows when to quit. Football is a brutal sport, that breaks the bodies of even the most mighty athletes. Why risk his well-being and health to play for an irrelevant team? Can you blame Calvin? This Danville man can't.

The writing is on the wall for the Lions. The ownership cuts the most likable players and drives the most talented ones out of the league. The Lions' divisional competition is not getting any less formidable. Adrian Peterson and the Vikings aren't going anywhere. Aaron Rodgers and his miraculous hail-mary throwing abilities aren't going anywhere. It's hard to chart a Detroit Lions path to the playoffs when they have to fill a Calvin Johnson-sized hole in the roster. Not under the current ownership.

The Fords have always been a family that brings both great joy and great despair. The Fords brought us the Model-T and the assembly-line; but they also brought us offshoring and the desolation of rust-belt economies after the 2008 economic collapse. As owners of the Lions, they brought us Barry Sanders and Calvin Johnson, only to drive these legends away from the franchise with their incompetence and mismanagement. The Fords brought us affordable automobiles; but they are also the family that brought us mass employee layoffs, and also drafted Joey Harrington; the promising young QB whose spirit was slowly broken by playing for an aimless franchise.

Conclusion

The weight of the Lions' sorrowful history can only lead me to draw one conclusion: the Fords should terminate this lowly franchise. Dissolve the Detroit Lions organization. Make a new expansion team in Mexico City, or London. Or just send the team to Vietnam, with the rest of Detroit's manufacturing jobs. If the team can't win playoff games, has never appeared in a Super Bowl, and can't retain inspirational and legendary talents like Joique and Megatron, then the team doesn't deserve to exist. The loss of this franchise will hurt Detroit-area football fans initially, but it will save them from heartache in the long run.

Those who remember the hey-day of Rax know where its surviving locations can be found. I still frequent a dusty old Rax in Parkersburg, West Virginia, from time to time. When I eat there alone, if I close my eyes and let the savory notes of roast beef linger on my tongue, I can almost feel the hope of the Reagan administration again.

Similarly, we will always have the fond memories of the undeniably good moments of the Lions franchise: Barry's 2,000 yard rushing season. Calvin breaking Jerry Rice's record for receiving yards in a single season. The unsung competence and consistency of longtime kicker Jason Hanson. The tragic comedy of 0-16 season in 2008. Third-string quarterback Mike McMahon leading the team to its first victory in Week 14 vs the Minnesota Vikings in 2001. The Matt Stafford-led 4th quarter comebacks of 2011.

Don't let the Lions become like Jeb Bush: trudging through failure after failure, endlessly prolonging their inevitable defeat, by refusing to gracefully bow out. It's time for the Lions to die with dignity. Only then will it be morning in Detroit again.