|This man is a weirdo|
One great film of 1996 gave us hope: a comedy called "Fargo." For those that have not seen this cinematic achievement, finish reading this article, then go find the movie. I would advise you to go rent it at Blockbuster, but you can't, because NAFTA so devalued the idea of labor that we let mom and pop stores and the joys of teenagers getting summer jobs instead of summer drugs get replaced by Netflix and Hulus.
John Kasich does not love Fargo though, in fact he moved to ban "Fargo." Kasich wanted to ban "Fargo," a comedy folks, I mean Blockbuster -- the world's greatest movie store in history -- classified it as such. Kasich called it a drama unfit for the shelves of Blockbuster. Folks, we should be pretty surprised. I've called for banning a lot of things -- the St. Louis Cardinals, the Colorado Rockies, Marco Rubio, Cam Newton, and honestly, some things I can't even remember. But I would never call for banning America's great film.
|The signs so many stores faced in Kasich's America|
|I just love Mario and Luigi|
Then there's Kasich's horrendous tenure as the Governor of Ohio. Look no further than the Cleveland Browns. The fine blue collar workers of Cleveland have dealt with many devastating defeats. From the Indians in the 1997 World Series to the entire existence of the Browns. Kasich once again sold the worker out at the expense of "free trade." While the Patriots cheated by paying Tom Brady less than his fair market value, similar to how Mexico pays their workers way less than fair market value so we can't compete, Kasich allows the Browns to operate in a league where they can't compete. Trump didn't stand for that -- his USFL tried to challenge such a wasteland of a league like the NFL. Kasich only perpetuated it.
|A good boy watching Kasich outsource America jobs|
With all this, many wonder: how has Kasich managed to keep getting elected if he is this bizarre? One word: LeBron. In 2010, LeBron James left the Cavs. That summer, he went to Miami. The horrendous then Governor, Ted Strickland, failed to keep Ohio's most important player. LeBron was an inspiration to Ohio and he was outsourced to Miami. In 2014, just in time for Kasich's reelection, LeBron announced he was coming home. Kasich went on to win nearly every county. LeBron won't be there to save Kasich forever though. Unless, Kasich makes LeBron his V.P. Knowing Kasich though, he'll probably ask for a guy who lives on adjustable rates, or the 3 point line like Steph Curry. It's time to once and for all ban the man that has banned Ohio's jobs and scarred its collective psyche. Ban Kasich.